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| This baby's got nothing on my chubby little man! |
Myth #1 "Red-eye flights are the only way to travel with children."
Tell that to the sleeping person seated behind, across, in front, or anywhere within shouting vicinity when your child begins screaming at the top of his lungs because it's midnight and he is still awake due to complimentary juice, peanuts, "helpful" in-flight announcements, and/or unexpected vomit-bag required turbulence.
And when you see a mother traveling by herself with her THREE very small and peacefully sleeping children assume:
a. She is legally insane
b. She has drugged her kids
c. She is a figment of your imagination
Myth #2--"Everyone is so helpful and nice when you have a child with you."
Dirty looks abound when you are at the airport late at night or anytime at all with kids--especially babies. They are hoping with all hope that you are not seated next to them. And when people say "Oh don't worry I understand," they are, as sure as poop stinks--lying.
TSA agents become your worst enemy as you are forced to strip down, unload, fold your stroller and shove it through the tiny x-ray machine, stop, go, unpack, repack, get dressed, check and doublecheck you have all your belongings before you can move on, all while holding your squirmy, sweet, little baby in your arms.
My advice: have a non-flying family member or friend get a gate pass to help you to the gate. Unfortunately, some airports, like JFK, don't allow gate passes so be prepared to cry all the way to your tiny, varicose vein inducing, 4.5 hour prison seat--17B.
Myth #3--You should totally travel with your child before they turn 2. That way they are considered a lap-child and fly for free.
And when your usually sweet-tempered baby slaps you in the face because he has cabin-fever and wants to run rampant up and down the 18 inch aisles, you tell yourself calmy and repeatedly, "it'll all be over soon, it'll all be over soon, it'll all be over soon," and secretly wish you had Nyquil in your carry-on.
My advice: Bring your kid's car-seat and pray that there is a vacant seat next to you.
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| Clinton at 9 months |
Option 1-- Juggle your child in your arms while you attempt to wipe yourself in the closet masquerading as a restroom.
Option 2--Hand your child to a stranger to hold and hope they are not a homicidal maniac.
And finally when all else fails, and as gross as this may seem and as horrible a parent people might think you are--you CAN put your lap-child on the floor to sleep. I won't judge you.
Good luck and happy travels!
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| My 2 year old niece, Gracie, riding in style! |
